It hit me today that tomorrow begins my first day away from the “ages of adolescence” in a very real but not literal way. Tomorrow I turn 22. I will no longer be 21 which is obvious but comes (at least for me) with a lot of new things. I’ve been working for a while now at a fantastic full-time job, have been engaged for exactly 2 months and have done more work on wedding planning than I ever thought was needed, and will, after this year, never have a “milestone birthday” again, at least not like I’ve known them. There are a lot of things that someone in my position could be feeling. I feel empowered.
I was driving toward Starbucks earlier today after a morning of preparing for my family to arrive which was followed by a wonderful night out with my beautiful fiancée. Date nights are one of a kind for us. Every time we devote a night to one another we find something else out about each other, well as least I do. The thing is that my girl is truly incredible - she is the ultimate catch. Whenever people who know her talk to me about her they can’t reach the end of the conversation without complimenting her heart, strength, or free spirit. These conversations help remind me why I love her and help me get away from my focus of what it takes to love her.
It takes a lot to love her. It takes a lot. Not because of who she is (though I don’t think there exists on this planet a woman more stubborn than her, well maybe my mother) but rather because of the weaknesses I see in me. She and I have this thing where we both have a soft spot for a great romantic comedy (don’t judge me, you know they are funny). I know, I know they aren’t real life and I know they aren’t something to compare your own relationship too - and that is not what I am doing. But, to me there is a real-ness to how those male characters learn to love a woman. There is a real-ness to the written, thought through lines and character development that depicts the silly, quirky things about these women that they love. There is such a real-ness to that, a real-ness that challenges me to remember why I love my fiancée.
These lessons are the best kind to learn because they make you a better person. They not only shape how you love that special someone, but they shape what is on most days a natural inclination to be judgmental. These lessons are hard but very, very good.
On this last day of what is considered the “party year”, I sit here listening to potential wedding day songs and thinking about the love of my life. I’m thinking about my best friend. I’m thinking about the way she loves me in spite of my selfishness and insufficiency in loving her the way she deserves. I’m thinking about all of the times I’ve treated her so poorly. I’m thinking about the ways she completes me, encourages me, and challenges me. I’m thinking about her 4th grade sense of humor, they ways she laughs even though she doesn’t think something is funny. I’m thinking about the baby clothes she made me look at yesterday, the way we “play house” in Pottery Barn, and the dreams we have for the future. I am thinking about her heart and compassion for people in Africa, little orphan babies, and young women here in her sphere of influence. I am thinking about how she has been hurt and the amount of strength it takes to trust someone with love, and how honored I am that she trusts me, chose me, and said “Yes” to me. I am thinking about how lucky I am to have found this person at 22, the confidence I have in our relationship, and the way God brought us together. I am thinking about who she is going to be in the future, how she’ll support me and our kids, and how she’ll deserve even more love than she deserves now.
Some days aren’t about some deep thought about Seminary education, student development, or life calling. Some days are about taking off that idea of who you want to appear to be and bravely and cheesily dedicating HW time to telling everyone how in love you are - and how happy/thankful/privileged/honored (to God) you are for having that person.
