Where do you find it? In God? In a person? In money? A job? School? Yourself?

Do you have it?

Security is about feeling safe. Safe to be yourself. I don’t mean safe to be yourself in the sense of your likes, dislikes, quirks, and isms. I mean a safety that surpasses regular understanding, one that is like Christ. The kind of safety I am talking about is one that allows you the room to be broken. It is a security that accepts you for your faults, failures, secrets, regrets, shames, and sins. Security is, many times, everything.

Again I ask, do you have it?

I realized today that I don’t let myself have it. To put it differently, I try to give it to myself. Seriously, think about how ridiculous that sounds. I try to provide myself a security that allows myself to be broken. I not only allow myself to be broken, but I try to fix myself. I am constantly putting pressure on myself to be better in every way: academically, physically, emotionally, relationally, etc. So, at the same time that I am trying to fix myself and am allowing myself to be broken. Do you see how that sounds? How can you accept and reject the same thing? Love and hate the same thing? Care for and neglect the same thing?

You can’t.

“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” I think for the first time today, I let myself believe that.

My security is found in Him because He isn’t going anywhere. He is “in this” for the long haul. There is no sin I can commit that will cause him to leave. There is no lie I can tell, no gossip I can spread, no person I can hate, no item I can steal that will make God, my heavenly Father, love me any less or abandon me. I can rest assured, assured, that I am taken care of. What better reason do I need to seek a life that isn’t broken all the while knowing that it can never be attained?

Security.

Again I ask, do you have it?