that is how i feel today (on the outside at least)

inside? inside i feel like a beach. i am warm & steady.

but outside i am wet & cold; slowly but surely the out is creeping in.

there is a spot in the student union where i like to sit, even though i don’t sit there very often. at a high table overlooking the sidewalk i read, write, and today - i study. i study for the test that i have in two and a half hours. i study the people around me; the posture, facial expressions, and emotions. i study those that walk by, what they are thinking, and I wonder if the snow is making them just as frustrated as it seems to be making me today.

as i listen to the same song on repeat over and over again i find myself becoming lost in the study. the curiosity of everything starts to consume me and before long i have forgotten about the upcoming test; i am lost in a thoughtful stare at anything and everything. the married student two tables ahead who seems to be having the same day I am, the young engaged couple behind me (who happened to be in my dream last night), the girls walking by on their way to the gym, the tree outside and the countless other students who have looked at it before me. the people, their faces, their actions and thoughts - all looping within a documentary of my music, my perspective, and my internal thoughts…warm & steady.

as the music builds i start to long for the study to turn into something more. i look for any action, any climax, anything to make the attention i am giving towards the subjects worth while. but just as the music fades i realize that this isn’t a film. at the end of the song, when i take my headphones out of my ears, and when i finally stop studying, i am in the corum, doing homework, watching others do theirs. everything seems less moving and ultimately it is just life…wet & cold.