i was asked to update this several times by the girl who makes my heart skip. i put it off for the sake of admitting it needed to happen. i’ve been living in denial…i have been.

i’m moving away in a few days. away from everyone and everything i have known for the last three years. it sucks and i am afraid. i love these people and i love this place.

i just can’t believe it. three years have passed already?

i know i will make it because i have seen people make it. i know that this is only the beginning because i have seen chapters unfold in the lives of others. i know that i will be okay because i have friends who are thriving. i know God will provide because He always does. 

i just can’t believe it. three years have passed already.

in my need to be remembered i find myself guilty of selfishness. it’s hard to think about the time, money, energy and love i have invested into this place and how in just a few days that will all be gone. it’s another way God is challenging me to trust Him. i worry that i haven’t allowed Him to be what people remember when they think of me. to be honest, i’m a little afraid that i’ve wasted these past years. i’m also afraid of forgetting who i am. i am afraid that i will get caught up in something other that Him or in something other than others. 

i want to write a few thoughts and then i want to be done, because i honestly don’t know if i would be able to stop writing everything that is going through my head.

• if you’re looking for you and you find yourself, be sure to remember exactly how that moment makes you feel. i guarantee you will forget what you are here for from time to time.
• planning doesn’t always mean you’re trusting, and trusting rarely means you’re planning.
• live your life, seriously. don’t allow negative and ill-intended people to make you feel anything but free. if you feel stuck, quit. you are allowed to say no.
• never, ever, ever compromise being Christ-like.
• enjoy people and all of the weird, “”pop-culturally” unusual and random characteristics that make them who they are. don’t judge them, because you will turn into someone who is constantly worried about what people are thinking about you. defend and love the underdog, not because they need you, but because you can probably learn a lot about true friendship from them.
• learn to love yourself and learn to believe that no matter how much you don’t, God loves you in the exact way, and then some, that you want to love yourself.

i am thankful and joyful. God is good. He is so, so, so, so good.